Following The Butterflies

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Mon, 10 Sep 2012 23:14:31 -0700

Plato: For the greater good.

Karl Marx: It was a historical inevitability.

Machiavelli: So that its subjects will view it with admiration, as a chicken which has the daring and courage to boldly cross the road, but also with fear, for whom among them has the strength to contend with such a paragon of avian virtue? In such a manner is the princely chicken's dominion maintained.

Hippocrates: Because of an excess of light pink gooey stuff in its pancreas.

Jacques Derrida: Any number of contending discourses may be discovered within the act of the chicken crossing the road, and each interpretation is equally valid as the authorial intent can never be discerned, because structuralism is DEAD, DAMMIT, DEAD!

Thomas de Torquemada: Give me ten minutes with the chicken and I'll find out.

Timothy Leary: Because that's the only kind of trip the Establishment would let it take.

Douglas Adams: Forty-two.

Nietzsche: Because if you gaze too long across the Road, the Road gazes also across you.

Oliver North: National Security was at stake.

B.F. Skinner: Because the external influences which had pervaded its sensorium from birth had caused it to develop in such a fashion that it would tend to cross roads, even while believing these actions to be of its own free will.

Carl Jung: The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at this historical juncture, and therefore synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.

Jean-Paul Sartre: In order to act in good faith and be true to itself, the chicken found it necessary to cross the road.

Ludwig Wittgenstein: The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came into being which caused the actualization of this potential occurrence.

Albert Einstein: Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.

Aristotle: To actualize its potential.

Buddha: If you ask this question, you deny your own chicken-nature.

Howard Cosell: It may very well have been one of the most astonishing events to grace the annals of history. An historic, unprecedented avian biped with the temerity to attempt such an herculean achievement formerly relegated to homo sapien pedestrians is truly a remarkable occurence.

Salvador Dali: The Fish.

Darwin: It was the logical next step after coming down from the trees.

Emily Dickinson: Because it could not stop for death.

Epicurus: For fun.

Ralph Waldo Emerson: It didn't cross the road; it transcended it.

Johann von Goethe: The eternal hen-principle made it do it.

Ernest Hemingway: To die. In the rain.

Werner Heisenberg: We are not sure which side of the road the chicken was on, but it was moving very fast.

David Hume: Out of custom and habit.

Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it [censored] wanted to. That's the [censored] reason.

Pyrrho the Skeptic: What road?

Ronald Reagan: I forget.

John Sununu: The Air Force was only too happy to provide the transportation, so quite understandably the chicken availed himself of the opportunity.

The Sphinx: You tell me.

Mr. T.: If you saw me coming you'd cross the road too!

Henry David Thoreau: To live deliberately ... and suck all the marrow out of life.

Mark Twain: The news of its crossing has been greatly exaggerated.

Molly Yard: It was a hen!

Zeno of Elea: To prove it could never reach the other side.

Chaucer: So priketh hem nature in hir corages.

Wordsworth: To wander lonely as a cloud.

The Godfather: I didn't want its mother to see it like that.

Keats: Philosophy will clip a chicken's wings.

Blake: To see heaven in a wild fowl.

Othello: Jealousy.

Dr. Johnson: Sir, had you known the Chicken for as long as I have, you would not so readily enquire, but feel rather the Need to resist such a public Display of your own lamentable and incorrigible Ignorance.

Mrs. Thatcher: This chicken's not for turning.

Supreme Soviet: There has never been a chicken in this photograph.

Oscar Wilde: Why, indeed? One's social engagements whilst in town ought never expose one to such barbarous inconvenience - although, perhaps, if one must cross a road, one may do far worse than to cross it as the chicken in question.

Kafka: Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.

Swift: It is, of course, inevitable that such a loathsome, filth-ridden and degraded creature as Man should assume to question the actions of one in all respects his superior.

Macbeth: To have turned back were as tedious as to go o'er.

Whitehead: Clearly, having fallen victim to the fallacy of misplaced concreteness.

Freud: An die andere Seite zu kommen. (Much laughter.)

Hamlet: That is not the question.

Donne: It crosseth for thee.

Pope: It was mimicking my Lord Hervey.

Constable: To get a better view.

Yeats: She was following the Faeries that sang to her to come away with them from the dull, bucolic comfort of the farmyard to the waters and the wild.

Shelley: 'Tis a metaphor for the pursuits of man: though 'twas deemed an extraordinary occurrence at the time, still it brought little to bear on the great scheme of time and history, and was ultimately fruitless and forgotten.

Tolkien: Chickens are respectable folk, and well thought of. They never go on any adventures or do anything unexpected. One fine spring day, as the chicken wandered contentedly around the farmyard, clucking and pecking and enjoying herself immensely, there appeared a Wizard and thirteen Dwarves who were in need of a chicken to share in their adventure. Reluctantly she joined their party, and with them crossed the road into the great Unknown, muttering about how rude the Dwarves were to take her away on such short notice, without even giving her time to brush her feathers or fetch her hat.

Photo

Fri, 24 Aug 2012 08:52:33 -0700

A moment of silence for the bitches who have to endure my fist to their face when they first say Team Simon or Team Jace

Thu, 23 Aug 2012 12:45:27 -0700

Dead. Absolutely dead.

Sat, 28 Jul 2012 17:18:54 -0700

Dead. Absolutely dead.

Sad but true

Sun, 13 May 2012 11:55:23 -0700

United States: How can we further manage our citizens without being too obvious?
People: Don't manage us.
United States: Oh, I know, let's militarize the police forces!
People: We don't need that. We need jobs. We need food. We need housing. We need a good education system.
United States: We simply don't have funding for that. We just militarized your police forces for your "safety" from, uh, er, "terrorists".
People: ...
United States: What?
People: We voted you in. You work for us.
United States: Of course we do! We just happen to have backroom deals where we take money from some of the biggest corporations and richest people in your interest.
People: F*** This S***.
United States: THEY'RE REBELLING. THEY'RE ORGANIZING. LOOK, IT'S A PROTEST AT A UNIVERSITY! QUICKLY! PEPPER SPRAY AND BEAT THEM INTO THE GROUND BEFORE THEY HURT THEMSELVES.
Media: We don't know what the f*** is happening, but here's your top 10 list for must-have summer items.

I have 3 different personalities.

Fri, 11 May 2012 09:51:00 -0700

heyfunniest:

the one where I’m out-going and loud.

the one where I’m shy and quiet as fuck

the one where I hate everyone and every little thing bothers me.

Follow this blog, you will love it on your dashboard

The Best of Hipster Edits

Thu, 10 May 2012 10:17:21 -0700

I can’t even.

If the Hunger Games characters could sing only one song for the rest of their lifes...

Sun, 29 Apr 2012 12:02:45 -0700

Katniss: BUT I SET FIRE TO THE RAIN!
Gale: NEVER MIND, I'LL FIND... SOMEONE LIKE YOOOU!
Rue: I CAME TO WIN, TO FLY, TO CONQUER... TO FLYYYY!
Peeta: I can't win, I can't reign, I will never win this game without you...
Finnick: I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!
Madge: JUST GONNA STAND THERE AND WATCH ME BURN...
Cato: WHO LET THE DOGS OUT!?

Accurate.

L.M.A.O.

Fri, 20 Apr 2012 09:21:27 -0700

heyfunniest:

“It’s a nice day out today, I think I might open up the windows.”

“I feel like being healthy today, I think I’ll grab an apple!”

” i’m feeling a bit hungry, I might go for a big mac”

i swear to god

“I think I’ll go to the gateway today.”

I need to take a shit

Life sometimes sucks, You need a break, Click here & Laugh!

heyfunniest: Life sometimes sucks, You need a break, Click here...

Thu, 12 Apr 2012 14:06:38 -0700

heyfunniest:

Life sometimes sucks, You need a break, Click here & Laugh!

To all my lovely followers.

heyfunniest: Life sometimes sucks, You need a break, Click...

Sat, 31 Mar 2012 11:34:06 -0700

heyfunniest:

Life sometimes sucks, You need a break, Click here & Laugh!

Movies these days.

elfinlou: I love Eddie Izzard Eddie Izzard is the man.

Wed, 28 Mar 2012 13:35:58 -0700

elfinlou:

I love Eddie Izzard

Eddie Izzard is the man.

heyfunniest: Bored? Click here and you’ll be...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 13:04:44 -0700

heyfunniest:

Bored? Click here and you’ll be entertained.

I…. just. I can’t even.

heyfunniest: Bored? Click here and you’ll be entertained. THIS...

Mon, 26 Mar 2012 13:03:39 -0700

heyfunniest:

Bored? Click here and you’ll be entertained.

THIS SO MUCH. ajhssdh.

Do you have any flaws? Basically.

Sun, 18 Mar 2012 16:06:47 -0700

Do you have any flaws?

Basically.

Ah, science puns are the best

Sun, 26 Feb 2012 16:16:04 -0800

person 1: hey did you hear that oxygen and magnesium got together?
person 2: OMg

heyfunniest: Having a Bad day? LAUGH & CLICK HERE!!

Sat, 25 Feb 2012 09:35:05 -0800

heyfunniest:

Having a Bad day? LAUGH & CLICK HERE!!

California weather.

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 09:41:34 -0800

Morning: HOLY SHIT its freezing.
Afternoon: Who the fuck set the earth on fire.

BLESS THIS POST.

Thu, 23 Feb 2012 09:39:00 -0800

BLESS THIS POST.

Forever reblogging AVPM/AVPS.

Sat, 18 Feb 2012 11:06:20 -0800

Forever reblogging AVPM/AVPS.